We will always love you, baby!
Starlight: April 18, 1991 - April 6, 2007
I don't usually like to express to much of my feelings on this blog, mainly since I just use this blog to share pictures and stuff with family and friends, but I guess I need to get my feelings off my chest since this week has been REALLY hard for me. So this past month has been really fast for Starlight. We noticed that she has been throwing up more and not wanting to eat. One day she wasn't really moving and was really out of it, so we had brought her to the vet a few weeks ago to check it out. We had always known that she had congestive heart failure, and had expected her to pass awhile ago, put she kept on going. Mark and I thought that maybe that was the day, but the vet said to try her medicines and go in for a follow up in a month and see if there was any improvement. The next appointment was scheduled for April 17. So about 2 weeks later, Starlight was doing really bad, throwing up more and really not eating. I called the vet, and he adjusted her medicine and told us to call him if any problems. She never really improved. So last Friday, Mark was driving me to work. For some reason I was really down and couldn't stop crying. I started having all these flashbacks of my life with Starlight. On Saturday morning, Mark picked me up late and he told me that Starlight had died. My first reaction was relief, then shock, then sadness. I was relieved that she was no longer in pain, I mean if you had seen her that last week, it was awful.
This rest of that day and the rest of that week was a busy blurr, plus I was working, plus I've been sick.
Now I finally have time to just mope around. I look around, and sometimes call out for her and she's not there. I know that some people think I'm taking this way to hard since she's just a dog, but she was my baby. My dad gave me Starlight a couple days after my mom died when I was eleven years old. Through all the ups and downs in my life, there was this one constant which was Starlight. We pretty much grew up together. We did have time apart where she lived with Tom and Ate in the Philippines, then lived with them here while I was at college, but when I came home, she was here lying down on the couch or just moving room to room with me. I really can't believe she's not here anymore. I look at Sami and feel sorry that she doesn't understand what's going on. In a way, Sami probably feels like I did when my mom died... not really understanding what was going on, and still thinking that she'll be back. Mark says that what makes this really hard for me is that Starlight helped me cope with my mom's death, and so technically I'm grieving for her again along with Starlight. I know through time it will all get better, and I have some many great memories with Starlight. But for now, I just can't stop crying. I just have to think of the full life that I had with Starlight. She was there for all my graduations: 8th grade, high school, college, and pharmacy school. She was there in the Philippines for my brother's wedding at Manila Hotel (she was even served water in a crystal glass!), she was around for Maxine to play horsey with her, she was around for my wedding, and she was around to see Little Tom and Bella. I will never forget when we brought her home from the store, she was so scared and so little. She smelled so pretty since the store put that powdery perfume on her. I remember how we picked her name. I was sitting in the back of the cadillac, and Tom was in the front seat. We were thinking of names, and the rule was that it had to start with an "S" since all our pets started with an "S". We already had Sparky (Tom's dog), SnowWhite (my bird), and Snowball (my hamster). Tom started to just sing songs, and he sang the Madonna song, "Starlight Starbright", and that's how we got her name. Starlight was loveable, she loved everyone who walked into our lives... Those who were not dog lovers, loved Starlight. I will never forget you Starlight...
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